1. Does “shower” mean one you can stand up in or is it a little hand-held jobbie in the bath? (Montreal, Reykjavik)

But in Lucca, at least there was a very cool clothes line...

But in Lucca, at least there was a very cool clothes line…

2. Do you have a can opener? (So, so many places)

3. Is the hot plate on the stove large enough to fit the saucepan you have provided? (Bordeaux)

4. Do you provide instructions for finding the fuse box for when the lighting goes out repeatedly? (Lisbon)

5. Does your two bedroom flat for four people have more than three glasses / cups / towels [insert utensil of choice here]? (Windermere and others)

6. If the heating makes a noise like a jet plane or the toilet won’t flush will you say “Oh yes, we knew about that and will be getting it fixed next week after you leave.”? (Montreal, Lima)

7. Does the door have a ‘special’ little thing to do to get it open, but you can’t quite manage to even do it yourself? (Seville)

8. When you say you’ll come and pick us up at the station, is that just because you wanted to get us in a car before telling us that the flat we rented is no longer available but you have something much less nice that we’re on our way to at that very moment. (Berlin)

9. When you say “internet available” does that mean only if you stand on the toilet in the upstairs bathroom? (Beynac et Cazenac)

10. Does the washing machine actually go? (Lucca, Sorrento, Lima, Lisbon, Windermere and Washington)